PART I     PART II     CREDITS

CHARACTERS	PROPS
MIGUEL	2 TABLES
SANDRA	6 CHAIRS
JACOB	DINER SCENE
LORI	FRIES
MARIA	COKE
WAITRESS	MAP
MR. SUIT

 

PART II: MYTHS OF WELFARE

MIGUEL: Did you know that red cars get hit more than any color of car?

SANDRA: That is so not true, Miguel.

MIGUEL: It's a fact, Sandra. My uncle sells insurance and he told me. And trucks hardly ever get hit at all! Isn't that true, Jacob?

JACOB: Yeah, man. I read it on the Internet. And get this: convertibles get pulled over for speeding more than any other kind of car. Even if, like, a station wagon flies by you… and you're in a convertible… you'll get pulled over instead.

LORI: Yeah, I heard that.

MARIA: Yeah. That's why I'm buying a station wagon convertible… What?!

MIGUEL: Eat your fries, Maria, you need nutrients going to your brain.

MARIA: Hey, don't make fun of me. I know plenty. Like, I'll bet you didn't know that Cherie, from school, is gonna totally have it made when she moves out of her parents house next month.

JACOB: Why is Cherie moving out?

MARIA: Didn't you hear? She's going to have a baby.

LORI: How is she's gonna "have it made" by having a baby?

MIGUEL: Geez, Lori, haven't you ever heard of welfare? You have a baby, you get money! Cherie can get her own place, collect free money, get away from her parents… and just kick back!

JACOB: Whoa! That's pretty cool.

WAITRESS: Yeah, that's what Cherie thinks.

SANDRA: What?

WAITRESS: Oh, nothing…. Just mumbling to myself.

MARIA: I almost think that's what I should do… have a baby and get outa the house. My parents are driving me absolutely nuts!

JACOB: But I heard that Cherie's boyfriend broke up with her.

MARIA: He did!

MIGUEL: Oh, man, I know Tony. He's not gonna pay child support. He probably won't even admit it's his kid!

LORI: I guess he's off the hook. What a drag for Cherie.

WAITRESS: Oh, he's not off the hook!

LORI: Excuse me?

WAITRESS: I just said that Tony… is not off the hook! And your friend, Cherie… I think she's got some surprises waiting for her, too.

WAITRESS: Hi. How ya doin'?

TEENS: Great… uh…

WAITRESS: I don't wanna be a big "buttinski" ya know… but you look like nice kids and I just think there are some things you guys need to know about the welfare system before you start getting any ideas about having babies and moving out on your own. I was hearing some pretty major myths flying around here…

SANDRA: What do you mean? I always heard that when you have a baby, you get welfare.

LORI: And if you have more than one, you get even more!

WAITRESS: Well, that may have been the way it used to be… but things have changed.

MARIA: Changed?

WAITRESS: Yup. The laws are a lot different now. Did you know that in the state of Idaho, if you are under 18 and are going to receive cash assistance, you have to be living with a parent or guardian.

LORI: No, way.

WAITRESS: And then your whole family shares in the money and has to be eligible for assistance.

MIGUEL: So much for getting out of the house.

JACOB: No kidding.

MARIA: Wait a minute. What if you just go and live with your boyfriend?

WAITRESS: Same deal. If you're both under 18, you need to be living with somebody's parent or guardian. And, again, everyone in the family shares in the money and has to be eligible.

LORI: Wow, I didn't know that.

MARIA: Okay, what if you're over 18? Then you get the money, right?

WAITRESS: For twenty-four months.

JACOB: Twenty-four months?

JACOB: What do you mean? There are time limits?

WAITRESS: Yessir, that's right… and that is ALL you get… for the rest of your life! And when that's used up… there's no more. And, heck, for the amount you do receive, you could be working part-time about twenty hours a week at minimum wage and do better.

MARIA: What about Cherie's boyfriend, Tony?

MIGUEL: Yeah, you said he wasn't off the hook. Can't he just walk away and say that the baby isn't his? I mean, how can they prove it, right?

WAITRESS: Well, there's a simple little test called a paternity test. They just swab some cells from the inside of the father's mouth, the mother and baby's mouth, send the samples away to a medical lab and, BINGO, he becomes - by court order - that child's father. And if he doesn't agree to take the test voluntarily, he can be legally required to take that test. And if he gets a notice and just spaces it, he's the dad by default.

JACOB: But Tony's not even 18 yet, he doesn't have a job…he can't pay child support.

MIGUEL: Yeah, he owes me ten bucks.

WAITRESS: As soon as you become legally responsible for that child, the courts set up a child support order.

LORI: So even if you're under 18, and even if you don't have a job, you still owe child support?

WAITRESS: You got it. You still owe it but they may delay the collecting of that support. There is no way to get rid of that debt. If you can't pay it right away, it will be there when you can.

JACOB: Oh, great.

WAITRESS: And the state has lots of options if you choose not to pay child support… They can withhold wages, suspend your driver's license, and take your federal and state tax returns. They can also take any lottery winnings, unemployment benefits, worker's comp payments, up to 50% of your wages. They can take money out of your checking and savings account and do whatever other legal action they think is required.

SANDRA: How do you know so much? What is this, the "Welfare Café?"

WAITRESS: Hey, I'm not making this stuff up, ya know. I have a bit of experience with the Welfare system. But I was just like you guys, once… I used to sit with my friends and talk about the future over a plate of fries. We'd talk about where we were going to go to college and stuff like that… I wanted to be a teacher.

MARIA: That's what I want to do!

WAITRESS: I did too. I had this great teacher in high school that really inspired me. Every morning I'd get up and I couldn't wait to go to her class. So I decided I was going to go to college be a teacher.

LORI: So, why didn't you?

WAITRESS: Well, one day, "surprise"… I found out I was going to have a baby. So… I thought, "Okay, I'll have this baby and then, when my baby starts school I'll go to college and I'll be a teacher." But it was hard raising that baby, you know. And the father, he was only paying, like, $200 a month... when he paid. Some months I didn't get anything. And $200 doesn't go very far…

SANDRA: No kidding.

WAITRESS: I could barely pay rent and utilities, let alone food and diapers and all that. But, I hung in there and, finally, my baby started school. And I thought, "YES, Now I can finally get back to my dream of being a teacher." And then, my little girl came home from Kindergarten and told me how she had sat next to another girl that had on a pretty dress and lacy socks and patent leather shoes and… and she said, "How come I can't have those things Mommy?"

WAITRESS: So, I looked at her and I knew that I was not going to go to college. Because I could see that my little girl had hopes and dreams and it was my job to make sure they happened. I haven't become a teacher yet… but I'm still hoping… you know.

SANDRA: I wouldn't say you're not a teacher.

LORI: I just learned a lot.

MIGUEL: Man, I just got a major lesson.

JACOB: I just got all of my fries eaten.

MR. SUIT: And so, as they head for their cars and onto the Boulevard of Life, these young people take with them a new road map... A road map of factual information about new Welfare guidelines... Guidelines that may help them better navigate the perilous merging traffic of Love... and Legality. A journey into a world of personal responsibility, which we call... ...

Life In The Fast Lane