GLEN

JCH
What was your life like before?

Glen
It was a lot easier. I didn't have as much responsibility. I had more time to myself. I didn't really have anything to worry about except myself.

JCH
And now?

Glen
And now I have him to worry about and I have my daughter to worry about.

JCH
How did that change your life?

Glen
It made me grow up a lot more quickly. It makes things a lot harder to take care of because I don't have as much time to do it.

JCH
We hear that a lot, that becoming a parent makes you grow up. Tell me how it made you grow up?

Glen
It makes you grow up because when you don't have kids you don't really have to worry about if you have to take care of somebody other than yourself. If you're just taking care of yourself you don't really have to be grown up to take care of yourself. Once you get some body else in your life that you know you have to take care of it kind of makes you take that responsibility to actually realize what you've been doing wrong and what you need to change.

JCH
How did it change the people around you in your life, your friends, your parents?

Glen
I get along with them a lot better now because I can relate to them a lot more, like about when they talk to me about how I was when I was growing up. I can relate to them about it, how they always used to say, "Well, I hope you have a kid just like you."

JCH
That always hurts doesn't it when that happens?

Glen
Yeah, it does.

JCH
Talk to me about being a dad in terms of how it affected your social life or how it affected your dreams.

Glen
My social life, I tend to hang around people older than me rather than the people I used to hang around with, people younger than me, people my age because I relate to the people older than me better now. It changed my dreams a little bit because I have to wait a little longer to be able to fulfill those but I can still do them.

JCH
Do you pay child support?

Glen
Yeah.

JCH
Tell me about that. What's that like.

Glen
What's it like? I don't really have a problem with it because they are my kids. I do expect to have the responsibility to take care of them as much as I can if I can't be there. At least I'm there is some form, taking care of them one way or another whether I can be there or not.

JCH
At the end of the month though when you get your paycheck and child support is already gone and taxes are gone. How do you feel when you see what is left over for you?

Glen
Well, if I would have thought before I did what I did then I probably wouldn't be in that situation but a lot of people don't think before they do that and they really need to. It leaves a lot less money for yourself.

JCH
A teenager probably listens better to someone who has been through this before. What experiences do you have, what would you share with that person?

Glen
If you're going to be with somebody make sure that's the person you want to be with for the rest of your life because if it's not and you do end up having a kid, it might not be the best situation you've ever been in. Think before you do things like that.

JCH
Do you think teens think about that?

Glen
I didn't.

JCH
Tell me about that.

Glen
When I was a teen, I really didn't think. We were told about it but until it happens to you, you really don't think about what the consequences are until they happen. You don't realize how big the consequence actually is.

JCH
How big is the consequence?

Glen
You pretty much have to sacrifice everything you wanted to do or have been able to do for the children. You have to make sure that they always come first. If you would rather spend time with your friends or everybody else then make sure you take the precautions you need to take.

JCH
Tell me about what it's like when you think of yourself as a dad? You weren't a dad before and now, all of a sudden you are. How has that changed your view of yourself?

Glen
It makes me feel old. I think I have become a better person. I've become more mature because of it. It's made me look at life a completely different way. There are a lot of things out there that people do need to pay attention to and they actually don't until it comes down to the point where they have to.

JCH
Like what?

Glen
Like when they have to pay child support, if they have their own house, between that and paying their bills. Most of the time they don't think of that before hand and unless they have a really good job they're not going to have enough money to pay the child support and the rent on their own house and do all of the things they still want to do.

JCH
It's tough making those choices.

Glen
Yeah, it is.

JCH
What was the biggest change you found when you became a parent?

Glen
I had no time to myself. Everybody looked at me differently because I wasn't the same person I was before I had kids. It does change you a lot whether people realize it or not. Some people it changes them for the worse, some it changes for the better.

JCH
How did your parents take the news?

Glen
Not very well. They approved of the person I was with. They told me to take precautions same as everybody else tried telling me. When they found out I did have kids they really didn't like it but they did their best to try and help me. It was my fault and I did take the responsibility of saying it was my fault. It takes more than one person to make that decision.

When you do have kids you do end up having to have the responsibility whether you didn't think you were the responsible person in the first place. Having kids does put responsibility upon you. You have to learn to be able to take the responsibility of accepting your actions and doing what you can to make sure your children are taken care of.

JCH
Walk me through a typical day with your kids.

Glen
When I was living with them - I'm not now - I worked during the days, my wife worked at night, I'd wake up, go to work, come home, take care of them, make sure they were fed, make sure they were bathed, clean, put them to bed, wake up in the middle of the night, take care of them, go back to work the next morning.

JCH
How did all that responsibility feel for some one who was so young?

Glen
It was a big weight on my shoulders. It was like somebody just dropped the world on my shoulders but I looked at it like I made the choice, I need to take the responsibility. It was hard, I took a while to do it, but I finally did manage to do it.

JCH
Did you ever have to go on welfare, deal with any of that?

Glen
Yeah, I went on it twice.

JCH
How did that make you feel?

Glen
It made me feel like I wasn't doing my part, like I had to go to a different source other than my own to take care of my kids. Going on welfare made me feel like I wasn't doing my part. I was having somebody else do it for me to where I wasn't taking the responsibility I needed to take.

JCH
How do people look at you when you are on welfare?

Glen
They look at you like you're lower than they are because you have to go to somebody else to have them pay for your kids rather than paying for your kids yourself. They look at you like you're not good enough.

JCH
How did that make you feel?

Glen
It doesn't make you feel very good at all, to feel like you're lower than everybody around you.

JCH
It's tough to explain that. Sometimes kids think that going on welfare is going to be great. "I'm going to get out of the house, They're going to give me money, I can stay home with the kid. It's going to be great." Talk to me about if you're some teen saying that.

Glen
The teenagers who are saying that don't really realize that when they do go on welfare people will look down on them because they are using other people to pay for their children rather than doing their part and paying for their children themselves.

JCH
It's tough because everybody needs help now and then. Would you have listened when you were a teenager if someone had said to you being a teen parent is going to change your whole life?

Glen
I wouldn't have listened if that were all they said. If they would have explained it in depth and said how it would change my life and what responsibilities I would have to take on in order to be a teen parent then I probably would have listened. You have to be willing to give up your own personal things that you like to do, to put them aside and do things for your kids first and then if you have time, do the things you wanted to do. If you're not willing to do that then you're not really ready to be a parent. That's basically what you have to do, is put your own life aside for them.

JCH
That's a hard thing to hear if you're fifteen and sixteen. How did you deal with the mother of your children and her feelings? How old was she?

Glen
She was sixteen.

JCH
How did it change her life?

Glen
She was still in high school so she still had to deal with school while she was pregnant. She ended up having to drop out so she didn't get to finish. That puts a lot of emotional strain on her because she's not actually getting done what she wants to get done that she could have gotten done if she wasn't pregnant or if she didn't have children.

JCH
How did you deal with her changing emotions and frustrations?

Glen
I didn't really deal with it but I kind of went with it to try and help her as much as I could with those. Since she had to drop out of high school I tried helping her as much as I could to do the work at home, to try and get those credits done.

JCH
You don't realize how much it takes away from your life and your dreams. Did you have dreams before you became a dad of doing something?

Glen
Yeah. I wanted to have my own place, have a ranch, have horses, all that kind of stuff. By having a kid that takes a lot of money out of your finances to where you can't do a lot of things that you want to do.

JCH
Sixteen, seventeen is young to become a parent.

Glen
Yes it is.

JCH
Tell me about that.

Glen
It's really way too young to have kids because you're still in high school. You still have education to go through and if you ever had hopes of going to college that's going to get in the way because you are going to have kids to take care of all of the time. You won't have the money to go to college; you won't have the time to go to college.

JCH
Would you have listened do you think if someone had given you all of this advice.

Glen
I think so.

JCH
What can you say to convince teens to think about this?

Glen
Just make sure you think about the actions you are doing before you do them If you're not thinking about doing them you're not really thinking about the consequences and there are some big consequences. It does interfere with everything you've wanted to do.

JCH
Do you think teens don't understand the consequences?

Glen
They might understand but they don't really think about them before they do what they are going to do. Most of them will think, "It can't happen to me," It can happen to everybody.